INCERTITUDE
“can we see you off to the airport?” Tina asked
“no, don’t worry I would be fine, take care of yourself and please take care of the children”. They watched him go as they waved. She felt something leave her as he waved back. Mia for the first time in a long time felt lighter, Williams didn’t hide his joy immediately their father left, he raced to his room to continue his video game smiling. Mia sat in the living room and changed the sports channel to Nickelodeon. She didn’t smile or jubilate the way her brother did but Tina could tell that she felt free.
“look at what Mathew has done to his own children” she thought. She too felt relieved, the weight in the air was lifted and everyone could move around without the fear of their father. It was indeed going to be a week of total bliss. Tina thought about everything she had endured in the hands of Mathew, she wondered how she had so much strength to cope with him. She thought about her late father and her old mother, the only brother she had was very irresponsible and didn’t see the need to work hard, but getting married to Mathew brought some kind of succor to her family. Her uncles and aunts did not see the need to have anything to do in her life. She couldn’t tell her mother what she was suffering, she was just going to break the poor woman’s heart. Mathew had only a father and two younger brothers who lived their life far away. She didn’t really have any friend except the ones in church and she felt pouring out her mind to another person might ruin her marriage, she grew up to know that there should not be any third party in a marriage. She remembered the last time her mother called and she kept asking if she was fine. Her mother called her to tell her of a dream she had that she saw Mathew beating her, but she responded by telling her it was just a dream and nothing of such was happening, “Mathew is a wonderful person” she always told her mother.
She laid on the bed looking at the fan rotate rapidly drenched in thoughts. She loved Mathew but he has been unfair to her for too long and she had endured so much and still enduring. She didn’t realize that that Mia was sitting next to her and looking at her.
“Mommy, are you okay?”
“yes darling, I am”
“no you are not”. She tried to smile, “I am fine dearie”
“ mommy I had a bad thought” Mia face was downcast
“what is it? Tell me”
“most times I wish daddy would go on a long trip and never come back again”. Tina heart seized for few seconds,
“what did you just say”
“I said most times I wish daddy would go on a long trip and never come back again”
“why would you think about that?”
“he doesn’t make us happy and I am scared of him”. Tina didn’t know what to do, she didn’t know whether to rebuke her or console her, she had mixed feelings.
“You shouldn’t have such thoughts. He is your father no matter what”, Mia nodded.
Tina kept thinking about what Mathew would be doing far away from home. Sometimes she imagined another woman with him and that got her so upset, she couldn’t bear the thought of another woman with him. She would constantly pick up her cell phone to call him, most times he didn’t pick up but when he did she would pin her ears to the phone and listen to his environment, waiting to hear a feminine voice. She suspected the way he constantly cut her off, telling her not to worry about him that he was fine and shouldn’t be disturbed. She would sigh and end the call. The days were too slow, one week seemed like eternity for her but she waited patiently for her husband to come. Williams and Mia made sure that they made use of every minute in his absence, but they dreaded the day he was going to come back home and everything would be back to normal again. Tina anticipated his return but was scared at the same time, somehow she hoped that a miracle might take place and he would come back a changed person but she knew that was a wishful thinking even though she didn’t see any change coming but she hoped for a change in him.
The days went slowly for Tina but ran swiftly for Williams and Mia. The eve to the day he was to come, Mia went to her mother.
“Mommy, is daddy coming tomorrow”
“yes he is, why are you asking?”
“I don’t want him to come back”
“that’s a bad statement Mia, do you want him to die, stop that, I don’t like it, no matter what he is your father and you have to deal with it, do you hear me”
“yes mom”
“good, now prepare for his arrival and stop thinking about stupid things”
“okay mom”.
As Mia walked towards her room she saw Williams folding his arms with a frown on his face,
“what did mommy say?”
“she said we should prepare for daddy’s coming”
“prepare for his coming for what?, is he a king? He should just hit a truck, I don’t want to see him”
“noooo, don’t let mommy hear you, she would not be happy?”
“mommy is just too soft” he sighed and left her standing. She knew how he felt; she felt the same way too.
That night Tina, Williams and Mia laid on their various beds looking at the ceiling and imagining how life would be when he returns home. They all tossed in their beds, but finally slept off.
Tina’s eyes opened immediately at 6am, she rushed down to the kitchen to prepare something for Mathew he would be home at eight and she wanted him to eat something when he came back. Her head ached so much; she didn’t sleep well from her thoughts on Mathew’s return. She got to William’s and Mia’s rooms and woke them up.
“daddy is coming today, get up and get ready for his coming”. Williams yawned opened his eyes and looked at her,
“mommy good morning”
“morning, did you sleep well”
“no”
“why? A bad dream?”
“yes mom, a very bad dream”. Tina got worried and got closer to his bed with her hands on his waist.
“tell me about it”
“I saw daddy staring at me in the dream”
“and what happened?” she asked
“that’s all”
“so your father looking at you in a dream is a nightmare now”
“yes mom”
“will you just shut up your mouth and prepare for the day”, Williams got up from the bed frowning. Seeing his dad in his dream was actually a nightmare to him, he had a deep dislike for his father.
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#BarbraAustin
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